Monday, December 27, 2010


Who doesn’t want to be happy? I know I do, it seems everyone would want to be happy. But seriously, sometimes it is hard. Between school, friends fighting, getting grounded for nothing, always feeling tired, periods every month…it is kind of tough to always be happy.
I am sure once your parents get off of your back,  you have a great boyfriend, lose 10 pounds, face clears up and you get the perfect boots you have been wanting then you may be happy or at least headed towards happy.
Wrong! It is no one’s job to make you happy, sister. This is your job and your job alone.  How you choose to view your life is your job. How you decide to react to your life is your job. Not your Mom or your Dad, not your boyfriend or your friends…no one but you is in charge of your happiness.
When your alarm goes off in the morning, what do you do? If you start the day grumbling arrrghhh…and slamming the pillow over your head, you are probably not off to the best start. Why not give yourself a better start to the day? When you wake up, find a positive thought. Something like, oh good, I get to be me again today, how lucky is this world to have me?  Could be anything…you pick, after all it is your thought, your day your happiness.
Make an effort to find the happy in whatever is going on, the squirrel in the tree, the hot boy at lunch that you can see but he can’t see you. Your favorite jeans are clean. It is easy to complain and find all the bad, but why do that to yourself?
Chances are at this very moment you are dry, your belly is full, and you are sleeping in a bed at night…life is good my friend. Be happy.
I know bad things happen. Really terrible, terrible things and not so terrible things (maybe not end of the world things) but things that seriously tick you off will eventually happen. It is not always easy to find the happy. When this is the case I give myself 48 hours to just enjoy my misery. That’s right…48 hours…two days. Two days to cry, be angry, call my friends for sympathy…you get the idea. Then that is it, LET IT GO.
 After two days, you need to get back to living your life.  Enough is enough. Start finding something to make you feel a little bit  better, then a little more…then happy.
Your whole life will change. This I promise you. You will attract good things to you because that is what you are noticing. What a great gift to give yourself…and who doesn’t like gifts?

Monday, December 20, 2010


“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” this is a lovely quote but maybe a little tough to apply to todays world.  Everywhere we look we are bombarded with “beautiful people”…or what we are supposed to think of as beautiful people.
Tall, skinny, long legs, flowing hair, perfect skin…ehhh…whatever. I say boooorrrriiiing.  Take yourself to the mirror, get super close and look at all of the colors in your eye, you are the only person in the entire world that has that beautiful eye. Lovely!
Beautiful is a baby, a puppy, new shoes, a butterfly, rainbows, there is no one definition of beautiful.
Beautiful is you…absolutely stunning you! When you wake up in the morning and you are looking kind of funky, that is beautiful. When you are doing something you love or laughing so hard you cannot  breathe, that is beautiful.
Walk proud my beautiful friends, you are truly stunning!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Best Friends
Best friends…that makes you smile doesn’t it? You start thinking about your best friend and the goofy things you have done or said together. The inside jokes, how much you love them…sigh…it is all good.
How does a best friend act, what exactly makes them your “best friend”.
They are the first person you call when it all goes good or bad. The one person that you know has your back. She is the one sitting next to you in the principal’s office whispering to you…”I can’t believe we did that!!!”
You love her completely, she is the other side of you. Hmmm, interesting…she is the other side of you.
Here’s a thought, why aren’t you your best friend? Who spends more time with you…then you?
You know when you are trying something new and you hear that voice in your head telling you “You can’t do that. Why are you even trying, you look stupid. Just stop embarrassing yourself.  Oh yeah…and your fat/ugly.” You know that voice, it stinks. It is our own personal Mean Girl in our head. I hate her. Where did she come from and how do we make her GO AWAY?
In my experience she shows up around the age of ten years old, give or take. Let’s go back to when you were four years old and knew you rocked! You were the bomb. You know what I mean, the four year old that discovered she could hop on one foot and made sure the world knew it. The four year old that would yell to come watch this cool thing she could do…Hellooo, I am hopping on one foot here, I am AWESOME…..and tomorrow I will do something else amazing so stick around people!
Then, around ten years old you discover doubt. You are not as pretty as the girls on the Disney Channel, you can’t sing or dance. Your clothes are stupid and you are clumsy. Somewhere along the way certain adults and others have told you that girls shouldn’t…or don’t try…or you can’t…and silly ten year old you…you believe them. Crap!  It is time to be four again and rock the world with your mismatched socks and droopy pigtails. Because four year old you does not care what anyone else like or does, four year old you is too busy being her amazing self.
So what to do? Be your own best friend. If your friend, let’s call her Sara,  if Sara walked into school and told you she studied last night but couldn’t remember anything and she just knew she would fail her test, what would you say?
“Gee,you studied and can’t remember any of it?  You are stupid, you are going to fail…oh and your fat” or would you say “Stop it, you studied, you’re smart, you are just nervous. You will do great...oh and I love your hair today”

If Sara told you she felt terrible because she didn’t want to work out and she feels like a slug because she knows she should, but honestly…she just doesn’t want to…what would you say?
“ Well, you are just a lazy cow and no one will ever like you...oh and your fat” or would you say “So what, let’s go shopping and have some fun. I will work out with you tomorrow…oh and I love your shoes”

Well…hellloooo. Let’s do this with ourselves shall we? The next time the mean girl shows up I want you to say out loud: Shut up and go away! You need to tell yourself that you are fabulous. You are the most awesome you ever and say nice things in your head the exact same way you would to your best friend. Life can be tough enough, it is time to start being nice to you.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Feed A Mean Girl, Make a Friend

Mean Girls
Mean girls are a bit like boys. You give them far too much power. Knock that off! Why in the world would you let the mean girls hurt your feelings? They are troubled people. Obviously something is vastly wrong in their lives and they need to feel better by picking on other people. My theory is this: Have you ever noticed the mean girls are always skinny? I think they are mean because they are hungry. I propose we declare a National Feed a Mean Girl Day...and make a friend.
Ban together my teen friends and do not let these girls hurt you. If you see someone being picked on don’t let that girl feel alone. Be with her, support her, there are more of you than there are mean girls! 
I will let you in on a secret, the mean girls future in 20 years is not pretty. She has married the star jock and had a few kids. He is now fat has hardly any hair left and is probably cheating on her. She will not leave him because she cannot afford to, she did not finish college or get a good job.  She is still friends with the other mean girls because no else likes them even 20 years from now. She is still hanging on to her high school years because those were her glory years. Feel bad for the mean girl her future is not pretty my friend.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Let’s start with the Webster’s online definition of selfish: self·ish

adj \ˈsel-fish\
Definition of SELFISH
: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

Gee, that sounds terrible…and I disagree, completely. Selfish is taking care of your own happiness. If you are happy and well, then and only then, will you be able to help others. Think about it, an unhappy cranky Mom is of no good to anyone is she? (And on this I speak from experience…yes I have had my cranky moments)

Example: Mother Teresa, one of the most “selfless” women in history.
For over 45 years she helped orphans, sick children and many, many others in India and other not so comfy places. Do you know why she did this….?  Because  it made her HAPPY.  Before her death she was interviewed many times, and this is what she has said.  It.Made.Her.Happy.

Let’s re-think selfish.  I am not talking about the mean girls at school that cut in line and are generally rotten people…and the old saying goes, if you don’t know one you are one.  I am talking about taking some time for yourself.

·        Go to bed a little earlier because it feels so good to have extra sleep.

·        Go to bed a little later because you want to read or watch the rest of your favorite show.

·         Have the ice cream because it is the first one of the summer and it rocks.

·        Don’t have the ice cream because you have lost 7 pounds and want to keep going.

·        Go swimming with your friends before the summer ends

·        Don’t go swimming because frankly you do not like the way you look in your bathing suit today.

Are you getting it? Unfortunately, we all have to do things we may not feel like doing chores, homework, going to school. But we have to do them. Right now school is your job…you’ve got to do it. So when you have some time to yourself…be selfish. The more you are selfish with yourself the happier you will be…the happier you are the nicer you will be to other people, like your brother or sister.
You will be surprised at how generous you will feel once you start being selfish.