Feed A Mean Girl, Make a Friend

Mean Girls

Mean girls are a bit like boys. You give them far too much power. Knock that off! Why in the world would you let the mean girls hurt your feelings? They are troubled people. Obviously something is vastly wrong in their lives and they need to feel better by picking on other people. My theory is this: Have you ever noticed the mean girls are always skinny? I think they are mean because they are hungry. I propose we declare a National Feed a Mean Girl Day...and make a friend.

Ban together my teen friends and do not let these girls hurt you. If you see someone being picked on don’t let that girl feel alone. Be with her, support her, there are more of you than there are mean girls! 

I will let you in on a secret, the mean girls future in 20 years is not pretty. She has married the star jock and had a few kids. He is now fat has hardly any hair left and is probably cheating on her. She will not leave him because she cannot afford to, she did not finish college or get a good job.  She is still friends with the other mean girls because no else likes them even 20 years from now. She is still hanging on to her high school years because those were her glory years. Feel bad for the mean girl her future is not pretty my friend.

Selfish!!!!!!

Let’s start with the Webster’s online definition of selfish: self·ish

adj \ˈsel-fish\

Definition of SELFISH

1

: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

Gee, that sounds terrible…and I disagree, completely. Selfish is taking care of your own happiness. If you are happy and well, then and only then, will you be able to help others. Think about it, an unhappy cranky Mom is of no good to anyone is she? (And on this I speak from experience…yes I have had my cranky moments)

Example: Mother Teresa, one of the most “selfless” women in history.

For over 45 years she helped orphans, sick children and many, many others in India and other not so comfy places. Do you know why she did this….?  Because  it made her HAPPY.  Before her death she was interviewed many times, and this is what she has said.  It.Made.Her.Happy.

Let’s re-think selfish.  I am not talking about the mean girls at school that cut in line and are generally rotten people…and the old saying goes, if you don’t know one you are one.  I am talking about taking some time for yourself.

·        Go to bed a little earlier because it feels so good to have extra sleep.

·        Go to bed a little later because you want to read or watch the rest of your favorite show.

·         Have the ice cream because it is the first one of the summer and it rocks.

·        Don’t have the ice cream because you have lost 7 pounds and want to keep going.

·        Go swimming with your friends before the summer ends

·        Don’t go swimming because frankly you do not like the way you look in your bathing suit today.

Are you getting it? Unfortunately, we all have to do things we may not feel like doing chores, homework, going to school. But we have to do them. Right now school is your job…you’ve got to do it. So when you have some time to yourself…be selfish. The more you are selfish with yourself the happier you will be…the happier you are the nicer you will be to other people, like your brother or sister.

You will be surprised at how generous you will feel once you start being selfish.

Losers…or not?

So many times you are watching someone and you just KNOW that what they are doing or the way they are acting is wrong. The burn out kid falling asleep in class…the completely stuck up girl ignoring everybody…you just KNOW that this is all wrong.

Let’s look at this closer. We will start with the burn out falling asleep in class. Chances are very good that he was partying late into the night and can barely keep his head off of his desk in class which explains why he also does not have his homework done. We know he is a loser…I am with you on this…loser!!!  Or maybe…just maybe, he is not a loser. Maybe his parents have lost their jobs or divorced and money is now a problem.  Maybe he is working at night to help the family buy food and oil so there is heat on for the winter.   

Let’s look at the snob that will not speak to anyone, ever. I am not talking about the popular girl who will only speak to you if you are cool. I mean the truly stuck up girl that is just too good to talk to anyone. Maybe...just maybe she is shy, painfully shy. So shy it is easier to let people think she is a snob than to actually speak to them. 

Very often things are as they seem, but every once in a while they are not.  I am assuming this has happened to you. Your parentals giving you a hard time because they thought you lied or you were texting when you were not supposed to be…and for once you really were not doing those things…but you got in trouble anyway. Same goes for other people, cut them a break, do not judge. Maybe someday somebody will cut you a break and assume the best of you, not the worst.

And be nice.

Beautiful

Beautiful

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” this is a lovely quote but maybe a little tough to apply to todays world.  Everywhere we look we are bombarded with “beautiful people”…or what we are supposed to think of as beautiful people.

Tall, skinny, long legs, flowing hair, perfect skin…ehhh…whatever. I say boooorrrriiiing.  Take yourself to the mirror, get super close and look at all of the colors in your eye, you are the only person in the entire world that has that beautiful eye. Lovely!

Beautiful is a baby, a puppy, new shoes, a butterfly, rainbows, there is no one definition of beautiful.

Beautiful is you…absolutely stunning you! When you wake up in the morning and you are looking kind of funky, that is beautiful. When you are doing something you love or laughing so hard you cannot  breathe, that is beautiful.When you are confident and when you are not, as long as you are being you, you are beautiful.

Walk proud my beautiful friends, you are truly stunning!

Boys...Boys...Boys!!!

Boyfriends

Boys…boys…boys....what can I say? Here is a well kept secret: they are just people. Gasp!!!!! HOW CAN THAT BE?????  I know, I know right? But, they are. Just like girls.  There are mean ones, nice ones, cute ones, funny ones…people. Plain and simple.

What makes them so extraordinary is the power you give  them. The power to completely make your day by saying hi to you in the hallway, asking you out or texting you first. The power to break your heart by not saying hi in the hallway, asking your friend out instead of you or not answering your text when you text first. You are giving an awful lot of power to these boys. Remember what I said, they are just people. Relax, they are figuring this out as they go, just like you.

This should be fun, boys are fun. Keep it in perspective. Why in the world would you make another person the focus of your whole fabulous life? That is way too much pressure for anyone, never mind a goofy teenage boy. Cut him a break.

Take the power back! Hang with your friends, do what makes you happy (sound familiar?). One, if you are happy and have a complete life outside of boys, then it will not be the end of your world if he breaks your heart and you will bounce back quicker. Two, oddly enough the more complete your life is the more boys you will attract, weird huh?

When you are in a relationship, I don’t care how old you are, it should be fun and feel good. Drama should not exist on any level.

So all of that being said, be nice. Treat the people in your life the way you would like to be treated. Do not play games, do not string along one boy while trying to be with another one, no ultimatums. Bad karma will come back to bite you in the butt, believe me. And by the way, there will always be more boys…I promise you…always. They keep making them...in a back room between the sweat socks and the Axe machine.