Monday, December 6, 2010

Best Friends
Best friends…that makes you smile doesn’t it? You start thinking about your best friend and the goofy things you have done or said together. The inside jokes, how much you love them…sigh…it is all good.
How does a best friend act, what exactly makes them your “best friend”.
They are the first person you call when it all goes good or bad. The one person that you know has your back. She is the one sitting next to you in the principal’s office whispering to you…”I can’t believe we did that!!!”
You love her completely, she is the other side of you. Hmmm, interesting…she is the other side of you.
Here’s a thought, why aren’t you your best friend? Who spends more time with you…then you?
You know when you are trying something new and you hear that voice in your head telling you “You can’t do that. Why are you even trying, you look stupid. Just stop embarrassing yourself.  Oh yeah…and your fat/ugly.” You know that voice, it stinks. It is our own personal Mean Girl in our head. I hate her. Where did she come from and how do we make her GO AWAY?
In my experience she shows up around the age of ten years old, give or take. Let’s go back to when you were four years old and knew you rocked! You were the bomb. You know what I mean, the four year old that discovered she could hop on one foot and made sure the world knew it. The four year old that would yell to come watch this cool thing she could do…Hellooo, I am hopping on one foot here, I am AWESOME…..and tomorrow I will do something else amazing so stick around people!
Then, around ten years old you discover doubt. You are not as pretty as the girls on the Disney Channel, you can’t sing or dance. Your clothes are stupid and you are clumsy. Somewhere along the way certain adults and others have told you that girls shouldn’t…or don’t try…or you can’t…and silly ten year old you…you believe them. Crap!  It is time to be four again and rock the world with your mismatched socks and droopy pigtails. Because four year old you does not care what anyone else like or does, four year old you is too busy being her amazing self.
So what to do? Be your own best friend. If your friend, let’s call her Sara,  if Sara walked into school and told you she studied last night but couldn’t remember anything and she just knew she would fail her test, what would you say?
“Gee,you studied and can’t remember any of it?  You are stupid, you are going to fail…oh and your fat” or would you say “Stop it, you studied, you’re smart, you are just nervous. You will do great...oh and I love your hair today”

If Sara told you she felt terrible because she didn’t want to work out and she feels like a slug because she knows she should, but honestly…she just doesn’t want to…what would you say?
“ Well, you are just a lazy cow and no one will ever like you...oh and your fat” or would you say “So what, let’s go shopping and have some fun. I will work out with you tomorrow…oh and I love your shoes”

Well…hellloooo. Let’s do this with ourselves shall we? The next time the mean girl shows up I want you to say out loud: Shut up and go away! You need to tell yourself that you are fabulous. You are the most awesome you ever and say nice things in your head the exact same way you would to your best friend. Life can be tough enough, it is time to start being nice to you.

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